If you’re feeling some resentment towards your other half, you’re not alone. Spending prolonged periods with anyone isn’t an easy task. Once you’ve been with someone for years, a little fraying in the relationship is to be expected.
The institution of marriage is a far more complicated undertaking than people expect. Marrying your sweetheart is the thing to do, it’s one of the steps set out for us to take during a lifetime. Oftentimes, walking a path you haven’t given proper thought to will lead to discontent.
If you resent your partner, it needn’t be permanent. There’s no need to continue living while shouldering such negativity. If this sounds familiar, read on to find out more!
Resentment in Marriage
Resentment is a complicated emotion that tarnishes every interaction with the resented. There are a great many reasons for experiencing resentment, and pinning down these reasons is the first step to overcoming them. Mixed emotions of anger, indignation, and disgust are all good indicators of resentment in your relationship.
Understanding ourselves is a historically difficult task. It’s the foundation of many great stories and is arguably the great quest of our lives. Without a certain level of basic understanding of ourselves, it’s all too easy to make decisions that lead us down an undesirable path.
The level of personal understanding required to make a correct decision is considerable. The joining of two people in holy matrimony is often done before they know themselves well enough to commit. As time goes on, individual maturation continues until someone finds themselves in a position they no longer feel is right for them.
The Importance of Careful Consideration
While feeling mired in the negative emotions associated with deep resentment, it’s easy to lose track of the bigger picture. Someone else, namely your husband or wife, probably isn’t the direct cause of the resentment. You might feel resentment towards them, but the source of your resentment is most likely deeper and more personal.
We each have complete control over our lives. We might make a decision based on external reasons, but we always have a choice. A lot of resentment comes after spending significant amounts of time living life on autopilot.
The marriage bubble is a particularly slippery slope to manage, especially for people who haven’t taken time to get to grips with their autonomy as an individual beforehand. If you suddenly find yourself trapped in a relationship you no longer want, it’s most likely due to your continuing personal development. It’s perfectly natural to feel some resentment for the person who got you into such a mess.
Communication is Key
Taking the time to do some introspective digging is important before making any rash decisions. Reminding yourself of all the reasons you decided to get married is a good start. Focus on the positive aspects of your spouse and remind yourself of all the good they’ve done you.
Freaking out and asking for a divorce is an option, but it’s far from the best course of action. Ending the relationship might seem like a perfect solution, but there’s no reason that things can’t be salvaged with a little effort. To this end, genuine communication is invaluable.
Resentment grows insidiously in an atmosphere of silence. Broaching the subject of your discomfort is the first step to clearing the air. It might take a lot of courage to speak your mind, but the potential outcome of positive change is well worth the effort.
Deal With Resentment
Taking the reductionist approach to complicated interpersonal issues is the quickest way to resolve them. It’s easy to get tied up in knots while trying to explain yourself while also avoiding the issue directly. In these situations, the truth can be thought of as a scalpel blade.
With a little practice, there’s no reason you can’t become a practiced relationship surgeon. Your scalpel of truth will cut through nonsense like butter, neatly revealing the underlying issues that need to be addressed. Once these issues see daylight and are confronted head-on, they begin to wither away with surprising alacrity.
Sitting down with your spouse and spending some time devoted to opening up and explaining yourself will do wonders. Whatever the outcome, the weight of resentment and other negative emotions will be lifted. Uncorking the metaphorical genie from the bottle will relieve a great amount of pressure you might have only been subconsciously aware of.
Being Honest With Yourself
The trickiest part of leveraging the truth for the best outcome is being honest with yourself. Sometimes it’s a lot easier to delude yourself for a while instead of tackling serious issues head-on. If you’re asking yourself, ‘Why do I hate my husband?’ it’s time to do away with your delusions and face the music.
As soon as you decide to be honest with yourself, things will become a lot clearer. The truth isn’t hard to find, but nurturing the desire to find it can take a while. Be gentle with yourself during this process, the first step is navigating towards an unshakable foundation you can begin to build on.
Taking this first step with your spouse is a great way to build a future together. Resentment often goes both ways, but so can personal growth. You’re already in a committed relationship, so there’s a fantastic chance to learn and improve together.
All it takes is an honest attempt at a positive change!
Love and Hate
You’ve heard adage of there being a thin line between love and hate. Feelings of resentment in marriage certainly prove the point. We’re constantly changing and developing as time goes on, and resisting the change only brings strife and negativity.
The choice is whether to change and grow together or to go in different directions. Whatever the conclusion, remember to be kind to yourself along the way.
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